Wys tans plasings met die etiket livestrong. Wys alle plasings
Wys tans plasings met die etiket livestrong. Wys alle plasings

31 Desember 2015

In Retrospect


Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne ?
Never really sure what that song meant... Should we forget about the past and not think about it? Or never forget it. Not really sure.
2012 has been an interesting year for me.  
One of great happiness, as well as great sadness.
I celebrated my 5 year anniversary of being cancer free.
And I also lost some good friends along the way.
People like me, who have faced their own mortality, realize how precious life is.

How important it is not to waste even a second of it.
If you are full of hate you miss out on joy
If you are angry you won't be happy.

If you worry  you won't have hope.
You never know when the last time you will see someone will be.
One of my friends passed away this year suddenly from a stroke.
She was one of the greatest people I have ever known.
I still remember the last time I saw her, it was like any other day.
I watched her walk away with her coffee as I was continuing my job,
I had no idea it would be the last time I saw her.
Tell those important to you that you love them.
Know that everyone who comes into your life is there for a reason.
Enjoy every day.  
Drink in the sheer awesomeness that is life, and this earth.
Life is precious.
Enjoy every second of it.
There are 31,536,000 seconds in a year.
 Don't waste any of them.


I'll leave you and 2012 with this quote from John Hughes, from the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off:

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com.  Available on demand, on Itunes and on the Podcasts app on your iphone


30 Desember 2015

Goodbye Old Friend....



Peripheral neuropathy.
Defined by dictionary.com as Function: noun : a disease or degenerative state (as polyneuropathy) of the peripheral nerves in which motor, sensory, or vasomotornerve fibers may be affected and which is marked by muscle weakness and atrophy, pain, and numbness

You know what it feels like when your foot falls asleep?  Well imagine that intensified. Lucky me my friendship with neuropathy began after chemo ended.  I know I have written about it before, but really? After I am done with the toxic chemicals being injected into me I get a side effect.  Great. Thanks for that. A little bonus I wasn't expecting.

I started chemo on November 12th 2007 and finished up with (herceptin) treatment on December 29, 2008. I finished my chemo some time in April of 2008, I have the exact date in an old cell phone of mine,( have to get those milestone dates out of that phone before it gets tossed) My neuropathy started soon after that.

April 2008, and it just ended.  Or at least I hope.  I haven't had it in a couple of weeks.  So I guess it is gone.
December 2009~so that means my neuropathy, that tingling annoying pain sock, which was so painful at first that it was almost too much to bear, that tingling I got used to having, when I went to bed at night it would, if I was on my feet for a long period of time, would crawl up my leg up to my knee like spider creeping up its web, that after a while it was more of a nuisance that anything else, lasted longer than my treatment.  Longer than all of my treatments combined, including surgery, chemo, herceptin, and radiation. 

My treatment lasted 14 months.  My neuropathy lasted 20.

I almost don't want to post this blog, as if posting it will make it come back.

Ha ha but I am posting it anyway {gulp}


Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern standard time.  Listen live on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com

29 Desember 2015

The Chart



I have been talking to a lot of survivors for my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com.  It has made me think of a lot of things that have happened to me.  I remember when I was diagnosed I actually thought to myself  "Well they must have someone else's chart."  Yeah right.  I live in a town of about 8 thousand people. My last name is Majoros.  I am the only Majoros in the phone book.  Pretty sure it was my diagnosis, unfortunately. I recall being really pissed at my doctor for not telling me what kind of breast cancer I had (the ultrasound tech told me  which I guess is a real no-no) at that time my chart was only a couple of pages. She showed me that she didn't have the info, flipping between the 5 pages in my chart.  Now its the size of a small book, the Gutenberg Bible of me.  Whenever I go to the doctor I look at my chart and wish it was much smaller, and that chart is only for 2 years. 

I was talking to another breast cancer survivor about her treatment, which was similar to mine, and we were discussing our side effects and medications.  Its kind of funny to think about it like we were discussing parts of a recipe, ok if you add zofran to your benadryl whisk lightly with herceptin, sleep for an hour, then repeat every three weeks you will feel better!!  We talked about hair loss, which I am still in awe of people who will go out in public with a bald head.  Those who know me know I am not that shy, but when it came to that I was.

We were talking about how taboo it used to be to even say the word cancer, it was spoken of in hushed tones.  Like you would say the whole sentence, then whisper the word cancer, as if to even speak it would bring it out like Beetlejuice.

Now many of my survivor friends shout it from the rooftops, well the modern version of it anyway, with blogs and podcasts and facebook posts and tweets.  We know what its like.  We want everyone to know about it.  We don't want anyone else to get it.  I personally don't want to welcome another person to the club no one wants to join.


Someone I respect called me a brave woman.  I still don't understand why.  I was told I had cancer.  I am kind of stubborn,  I don't back down from a fight.  If you play hockey against you know it doesn't matter if you are five foot six or six foot five, if you have the puck, and I want it I will go after it, I may not get it the first time, but dammit you will see me, you will hear me and you will remember me.


Mel is the producer/cohost of The Vic McCarty Show Monday -Friday 10am-noon eastern time.  Listen live on wmktthetalkstation.com 

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio. Available on demand now.

26 Desember 2015

Reflections



There are 5 days left of 2010.  I have to say it has been a long emotional year for me. Lots of good things have happened for me professionally.  This has been a great year pr wise for The Cancer Warrior.

I was one of a few featured survivors in a Chicago Tribune/LA Times article about cancer survivors (Thats me before Peggy Fleming and the president of Harvard with my photo above the fold, doesn't show it only though)

A Positive Ripple Effect magazine featured an article I had written.

I was featured on several radio shows, including The Stupid Cancer Show.  Matt Zachary who founded Stupid Cancer is not only a good friend but someone I admire.  I was blogging on my own blog and was also blogging on The Stupid Cancer Blog.  I am grateful to him for helping me get my start.

One of the most amazing things that has happened to me this year is being asked to speak at The Cancer Treatment Centers of America Empowerment Rally.  Out of all the cancer survivors I was picked with 4 other survivors from the US to talk about patient empowerment. I can remember the night before thinking that there will be a knock on the door and someone from CTCA would say uh sorry we made a mistake, here is a ticket for your flight home. 

I have met some amazing survivors in person and online.  I have an amazing group of people who have had all kinds of different cancers, all who share the same experience, and who all want the same thing, the end of cancer.  I know I can email, call, tweet, or facebook any of my friends at any time if I need guidance or help for myself or someone else. 

I have started new ventures in social media, helping others maintain their facebook pages.  Sounds easy, I know.  Someone asked me people actually pay you for that?  The answer is yes, they do.  Businesses and people get busy with their lives and need people to help them.  That is what I do.

One of the things I like to do is pay it forward, either to my friends by some simple gesture, but mostly to people I haven't met.  Its an easy thing to do, and it takes minimal effort.  Someone paid it forward to me this year.  They created my amazing new website  When my friend said he would do my website pro bono I never expected the extent of how much he has done.  I was blown away.  Honestly when I first saw it I almost started to cry.  I was just expecting nothing more than the go daddy parked site I had. 

Celebrated 3 years of survivorship.  Nothing is better than hearing all clear on blood tests, scans and physicals.  Nothing.

With all the amazing highs there were many lows as well.


September 15th. 

Just 3 days before I was to celebrate my 3 year cancerversary I lost a good friend to cancer.
 
Donald Wilhelm

He was such an inspiration to many, and I am grateful I got to meet him and call him my friend.  Even now as I am writing this the tears are flowing.  Knowing that just 4 months before he passed I posted an interview of him here.

And I saw him just 3 months before he passed away at the Pancake House with his wife Amy.  I am grateful I got to meet her and that Doug got to meet him. 

The photo below taken on Memorial Day weekend will always be one of my favorites.



Seemed like after Don passed away everything just sent me into a tailspin of depression.  Even with the pink ribbon program that I started at Pilates Midwest and the Pilates helping me to relax the cancer world that I was in was rocked one week with Don's memorial service, a friends recurrance and not one but two deaths because of cancer.

I have to say the last three months of this year have been some of the hardest I have ever dealt with.  Dealing with those passings, financial hardships, and just life in general got to me.

It was rough.

Almost as rough as when I was going through treatment. 

I can honestly say without prescription medications, family, and good friends being there for me I don't think I would have made it through these past 3 months as much as I did, and for you I am eternally grateful.

5 days until the ball drops and its 2011.

I have faith that 2011 will be better than 2010.
 
Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe. ~ Voltaire


Mel is the producer/co~host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com  Available on demand now and also available on Itunes



22 Desember 2015

Interview on BBC radio program World Have Your Say


BBC World Have Your Say Interview with The Cancer Warrior Dec 16,2011 from Cancer Warrior on Vimeo.

I was honored and humbled to be requested by the BBC to speak about "The Topic of Cancer"  Here is my segment on the program.

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com.  Available on demand and also available on Itunes.

21 Desember 2015

Win great Save the Tatas gear




Save the Tatas.  I have written about them before.  I have had the founder Julia Field Fikse on The Vic McCarty show.  They have always been great with giveaways.  Now I want to pass on the giveaways to you.  I have the t-shirts, sweatshirt, and hoodie seen here as well as the magnets, bumper stickers and two key chains.  All you have to do to get one is email me at thecancerwarrior@gmail.com  You will have to pay for shipping, but that is a pretty good deal for a sweatshirt, t shirt or sticker.   I will post winners here on my blog.

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday-Friday 10am-noon on www.wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com available on demand now. 

19 Desember 2015

Pilates and Beyond by Jennifer Kries



Another guest blogger.   Enjoy
When Mel asked me to write a guest blog on her site, I couldn’t help but marvel at the wonder that Pilates has been in my life to date; forget about the myriad benefits it has provided to myself and millions of others since its debut back at the turn of the last century, but how about the following example, this “water wheel of life” connectivity it has orchestrated around me as long as I have been doing it: Mel is the student of two shining stars in my immediate Pilates stellium: Senior Pilates Teacher, Jan Tirony-Johnson, the owner of my affiliate Mid-West Training Center, Pilates Midwest, and Lynn Descamp, Jan’s “right-hand” an exceptional and dedicated Pilates instructor in her own right. This is what I love about Pilates- the incredible, inevitable legacy that continues in the lives of all of the people it touches, and the way that it can bring people together, who ordinarily would have never had the opportunity to meet, let alone grow and evolve together. And this holds especially true for me in Michigan with Jan and the extraordinary studio community that she has created. I am honored to call her a true and dear friend, as well as an esteemed colleague, and have only the deepest affection and highest regard for her “team,” Lynn, Charisse, and Ashley, among others.


Thank you Mel, for asking me to contribute to your wonderful online forum and to help spread the word about the magic that is Pilates, but most especially, for giving me this opportunity to share just how much your teachers mean to me, and how grateful I am that Pilates helped me to open the door to these incredibly meaningful relationships with the special ladies you work with in Petoskey.

I first discovered Pilates at age thirteen with one of Joseph Pilates’ protégées, the late Eve Gentry at the prestigious School of American Ballet in New York City in what they then called a “Contrology Class,”--- the name Joseph Pilates gave to the technique he developed. Long before anyone knew what it was, we aspiring dancers used Pilates as a secret weapon to strengthen our abdominals and our bodies, so that we could jump higher, turn faster and move with greater precision and grace. I practiced Pilates throughout my professional dance career and it kept me inspired, injury free and powerful!


Pilates had been such an effective and profound mind-body tool, that I felt compelled to share it with the public. After getting certified in the early 90’s, with another one of Joseph Pilates “Master Inheritors,” Romana Kryzanowska, and becoming one of the privileged few “2nd Generation” Pilates Master Instructors, I introduced the Pilates “Mat class” to gym facilities in New York and watched the excitement build … people would have one taste of it and they would be immediately hooked. Even after one class, they felt taller, more energized, more capable and more alive.

I was thrilled to be able to influence the lives of the people in my classes in New York, but I wanted to share this incredible secret with as many people as possible. Serendipitously, one of my loyal students was in video production and said, ”Jennifer, you really should share this with the masses! Let me help you …” In 1998 I premiered the first ever Pilates video under “The Method” title, and just look at Pilates now.

Pilates is a non-impact, non weight-bearing system of physical conditioning that focuses on body placement and increasing awareness of the body’s capabilities and untapped resources. Pilates changes bodies. It makes them fitter, stronger and more attractive. It slims the muscles and makes them longer; it develops sleekness rather than bulk. It turns the abdomen and lower back into a firm, central support for a newly supple and graceful body.

Born near Dusseldorf, Germany in 1880, Joseph Pilates suffered from asthma, rickets and rheumatic fever as a child. His determination and drive to overcome those ailments led to his study of Eastern and Western forms of exercise, including yoga and ancient Greek and Roman regimens. By the time he was fourteen, Pilates had worked so hard at bodybuilding that he was able to pose for anatomical charts and had become a diver, skier and gymnast. When World War I broke out, he was an intern for a year in Lancaster, England, along with other German nationals. While in the camp, he taught his fellow internees the physical fitness program he had developed, and boasted that they would emerge stronger than they were before imprisonment. Those who followed his program resisted the influenza epidemic that swept the nation and killed thousands. He also encountered people who were disabled as a result of wartime injuries, diseases, and incarceration, and began devising machines using the springs from old hospital beds to help in their rehabilitation. These machines were the prototypes of the equipment used in Pilates studios today. 


Pilates believed that the “attainment and maintenance of a uniformly developed body with a sound mind, fully capable of naturally and efficiently performing daily tasks with spontaneous zest and ease” should be the objective for people of all ages and fitness levels.


Pilates’ six principles: concentration, control, centering, breath, flow and precision enable the practitioner to learn to move with maximum efficiency while minimizing stress on the body. You are able to access new levels in your body and create a deeper, more complete feeling of fitness, energy and vitality that remains with you days after your workout.

Pilates exercises make people more aware of their bodies. It helps to improve alignment and breathing and increases efficiency of movement. The focus is on the center of the body---the “powerhouse,” or the “corset muscles,” also known as the stabilizing core muscles of the torso, which support the spine. The rectus abdominus, the central abdominal muscle, running from sternum to pubic bone works in tandem with the transverse abdominus, the deepest of the abdominal muscles, wrapping around the trunk horizontally, acting like a "corset" when engaged. Other muscles that are important in providing good stability in the trunk, are the erector spinae, that run on either side of the spine, the quadratus lumborum and multifidus muscles in the low back, and the intrinsic muscles of the pelvic floor. The active collaboration of these major muscle groups creates a solid cylinder around the central spine, helping to prevent “shearing” or eroding forces from being applied to the vertebrae, ligaments and discs that evolve as a result of repetitive trauma, habitual patterns of movement that are unconscious and unproductive for the body-mind.

My favorite Pilates exercises are those that I learned first as a young dancer and they are also the very exercises that I feature in my DVDs, both those for the exercising public, my New Body! Pilates Series and those geared more towards the teacher trainee, or professional-track Pilates student, as well as certified teachers, my Pilates Method Master Trainer Series, which coincidentally, was filmed at Jan Tirony Johnson’s studio in Petoskey … They are the exercises from the original, classical mat workout developed by Joseph Pilates, a series that focuses on the abdominal center, the muscles of the torso, as well as breathing patterns for each exercise, teaching you how to direct energy to those targeted areas while relaxing the rest of the body. In all of my DVDs, one learns and immediately experiences what Pilates called “economy of movement.” Because you do the fewest number of repetitions with the greatest precision and control, you get the most out of your efforts, and your focus and determination grow exponentially.

On a spiritual level, the workout is concerned with the process itself. You learn to focus on the present moment and the movement itself rather than the outcome. This is a workout, a regime similar to yoga that promotes consciousness and facilitates evolution and self-transformation.

The subtle magic of Pilates is that the work grows as you do. You rise to higher and higher levels as your self-awareness and experience deepen. As you gain insight and as your actual physical strength increases, the work refines and redefines itself. 

Pilates is a unique, refreshing approach that sees our physical activity as a way to restore total oneness with ourselves and create harmony with our body, mind and spirit; under this notion, exercise becomes the means to experiencing a personal potential greater than the physical skills themselves. Every movement emanates from the center, which is also our emotional core, and the exercises truly help to "center" you. When you learn the advantage of paying attention to the energy, flow and rhythms in your exercises and see how pushing or forcing is counterproductive, you begin to apply this notion to the rest of your life. When you center your attention in the moment and act in harmony with time, you experience inner peace and fulfillment. By staying in the present, you can do less, yet gain more; paradoxically, you create more personal power and energy enabling you to have a greater influence over the outcome both in your sessions and long after you leave the studio.
My love of Pilates began long before its era of popularity and has served as a pillar of strength for me in all aspects of my professional athletic and artistic life, enlivening my spirit, conditioning my body, reinforcing my self-esteem and overall feeling of peace and well-being. I continue to be amazed and delighted every time I teach a class, or I take one, just how simple, yet powerfully transformational “The Method” truly is, and how its effects grace the body mind and spirit with a gift you give yourself, and one that catalyzes profound changes in one’s being. How appropriate now, during this season of giving to consider such a wondrous thing, that the gift we give ourselves doesn’t stop with us, but goes well beyond us to touch the lives of each person we come in contact with ... 

Pilates and other mind-body-spirit modalities center and balance us, making us more aware of ourselves and what makes us feel good, so that we then have greater reserves to share those good feelings with others, reminding us of what is truly important in life, like seeing someone smile as a result of our single act of kindness that reflects right back into our hearts. Pilates, very simply, makes us into healthier, kinder, more generous, more connected, conscious people and makes the world a better place.

Jennifer Kries
Bio

Dancer, choreographer, yoga devotee, author, lifestyle expert and Pilates master teacher, Jennifer Kries is an unparalleled innovator in the realm of alternative health and fitness. First to bring Pilates to the masses, her award-winning videos and DVDs, The Method Series, Jennifer Kries’s Pilates Method and Fox/Fit TV’s, The Method Show, revolutionized the fitness community, paving the way for the current wave of enthusiasm for Pilates mind-body exercise. 

One of the country’s preeminent Pilates master teachers, she is responsible for launching many of today’s most respected professionals who teach either traditional Pilates or The Method, her trademark mind-body synthesis: Pilates, yoga, and dance. She is the founder of New York’s, Balance Pilates, Yoga, and Dance, Hot Body Cool Mind—The Studio in Philadelphia, Artistic Director and Founder of Contemporary Dance Theatre New York and most recently, creator and producer of yet two other ground-breaking DVD series, Jennifer Kries’ Pilates Method Master Trainer Series and Hot Body Cool Mind: The Life Force Power Workout!
Her approach to fitness and wellness is unsurpassed. Jennifer brings unmatched clarity and an extraordinary perspective to her teaching. She has inspired countless readers, practitioners, graduates of her programs, and viewers alike to embrace her all-encompassing philosophy of movement, art, health, life and energy. Through her inspiring work, she helps people transform far more than their bodies, enabling them to tap into a reserve of power never before experienced. Her attention to detail, superb teaching style, artistry, and knowledge of Eastern healing techniques, anatomy and energy dynamics makes her one of the most highly sought-after mind-body teachers in the world today.
For more information on Jennifer and her Pilates and other fitness DVDs, visit her website: www.jenniferkries.com

18 Desember 2015

$3,000


 The original title of Pretty Woman was $3,000.  No this blog post isn't about that. Its about a genetic test that I am going to have.  The photo is of  the mutated  BRCA gene.  Many breast cancer survivors have this gene.  It is a mutation of a gene that if you have it you have it and you have breast cancer you have a higher risk of having ovarian cancer.  I haven't had the test yet.  I called my oncologist to see if I have had it yet, and he said no.  He said I would have remembered having it because it costs about $3,000.  I thought, hahaha doc you haven't seen my medical bills, three grand is a drop in the bucket. 

 I have insurance, but it may not cover it.  Will I get the test if it isn't covered?  Yes.  Why would I want to put myself deeper in the hole financially for a simple blood test?  For one it would tell me if I am at a higher risk for other cancers.  Having gone through chemo once is enough thanks.  It was a long year going through treatment and I certainly don't want to do that again, and would do anything I can not to go through that again. 

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday-Friday 10am-noon eastern standard time on www.wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com available on demand now.

15 Desember 2015

Parts Whole

 

I started playing organized hockey again.  I played a couple of times last year, pick up, but not organized, not like I was when I played in California in Burbank and Pasadena.    There they would have an actual draft, where they would make you do drills and try to set up the teams evenly so there wasn't one team that was loaded with great players and the rest with average players like me. 

Hockey means a lot to me.  Its hard to explain why.  Some things are just your passion, they get into your blood.  I started playing in my mid 30s, wanted to exercise and didn't think I would go to the gym that much, so I used my tax refund to buy hockey gear at a store in Woodland Hills, CA.  Out of all places to get into hockey, go figure I get into it in California.  Never been one to follow the norm.

2007 was a hard year for me hockey wise.  Not only did I find out my diagnosis on the last day of Red Wings Training camp but I had to tell my team that I had cancer and I couldn't play that year.  That was hard.  We had a beginning of the season party and I didn't tell anyone until then.  Everyone was shocked.


I was hoping that I could play that year.  That hope was dashed when I had my port put in.  No contact sports. I would have that port in until 2009.

Two frickin years.

Two years of not playing hockey.

That was hard. Obviously going through chemo, radiation, surgeries and all the crap that went with it was hard, but not playing was hard. 

Hockey is cathartic for me. 

It is zen for me. 

There is something about the stillness about getting on a freshly zambonied sheet of ice.  Hearing your skate blades hit the ice for the first time.  Skating a few times around the rink.   Doing some stretches.  Then getting into the game.

If everything is going crazy in the world the ice is the one place where everything makes sense.  I think everyone has one of those places.  For me it just happens to be a rink.  

Not being able to skate and to play made me feel less like me.  Trying other sports or activities to fill the void just didn't cut it. 

Something was missing. 

Something that was a part of me.

As I got dressed in the locker room with some of the ladies that I have played with before I felt a sense of peace that I haven't felt in a while.  

Stepping out onto the ice I felt shaky.  But skating is like riding a bike you never forget.


We did drills and did a draft for teams and then we scrimmaged.  There were players on the ice that were better than me and some that were not.

As I sat on the bench between plays all I kept thinking was this:

I beat cancer I can do anything on the ice.
 
I'll keep you posted when I net my first hat trick.

Mel is the producer/co~host of The Vic McCarty Show. Listen Live Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern time on wmktthetalkstation.com


Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com Available on demand and also available on Itunes




09 Desember 2015

What its like to survive

Another guest blogger. Enjoy.



What’s it like to survive? Have you or someone you really care about ever survived something that could have changed things forever?

Being a survivor sets you apart from other people in that you have a totally different view on things after “surviving”. No, I am not suggesting that we survivors are better than other people or anything like that; after all it’s friends and family who helped us survive, bring us through the hard times, and stand behind us as we continue on our journey. In a way, they survived too and are a part of the survival team. Think about it, a mom having to watch her child go through treatments for cancer? When that’s all over, you better believe she feels like a survivor also!

Survivors of car wrecks, wars and other diseases all know that they have, for some reason, been given a second chance; and I’d like to think that second chance, was not by “chance” exactly. Now my next comment is not to just show my fascination with conspiracy theories and secret clubs like the “Skull and Bones”, but I would like to think of survivors as being in their own little club too. (Unfortunately, we don’t rule the world though!)

As a survivor, first and foremost, we realize that we are temporary. No matter how great things are today and at this moment, we know that it can all change in an instant. We carry this attitude with us at all times. Whether we are at the Christmas party hanging out with friends and cutting up (break dancing in some cases), or at home relaxing with our families, our survival and what “could” and “could have” happened is always tucked away within us. We know that the unthinkable does not just happen to “other people.”

Now, this all shouldn’t read as the “poor little survivors”, because we are not “poor little survivors”; we are “blessed little survivors.” We now have a new appreciation for the smallest things, for all kinds of people that enter our life; we now take the time. That’s what it’s like to survive!

Ryan Hamner is a 4-time survivor of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and a singer-songwriter who travels performing and speaking to those affected by cancer. Please check out his new song, “Survivors Survive” online at
http://www.hearthehearttour.com and learn about his community for cancer survivors at http://www.2surviveonline.com .

08 Desember 2015

Ponytail


Its not a picture of my ponytail, mine isn't as long....yet. 
Most cancer survivors remember dates very well, date of diagnosis, surgery dates, chemo dates, dates our lives changed forever and when we had to adjust to this new normal we call survivorship.  One date that is difficult for me to forget is Nov 28.  Not only is it my Mom's birthday, it is also the date I had my head shaved, because the Adryamicin/Cytoxan made my hair fall out. I still remember Sandy the nurse telling me I should get my head shaved because my hair would fall out in 2 weeks.  Haha I remember thinking I could beat the odds of 99.99% of the chance of losing my hair.  Good one.

Two weeks to the day of my first chemo, which was Nov 12, 2007 my hair started falling out.  Nothing like taking a nice hot shower in the winter and having your long dark lockes of hair come out in clumps in the shower.  A few days later I went in after hours to my salon La Dolce Vita in Petoskey and had my stylist Val shave my head.  Doug, my fiance and my neighbor Stacey came along with me for moral support.  I thought about having more people there, kind of a head shaving party, but it was hard enough to keep it together when my hair was falling out.  My only regret of that night is that I didn't take pictures of the whole process. I think it would have made the long winter months without my hair and the little peach fuzz on my head more bearable.

I am not a vain person, as I have written before.  I rarely, if ever wear makeup.  Unless its a special occasion you will normally find me in shirts of sports teams, cancer organizations, bands or the like.  Hair I think, as breasts do, define you as a woman in society.  Not having any was really difficult.  Glad I went through treatment during the winter time, so I didn't have to explain myself why I was bald.

Being bald, chemo and all that seems like so long ago, a mere two years. Just a drop in the bucket of time.  I have actually had several haircuts and gotten my hair colored.

Now my hair is just long enough to put in a ponytail.

Life is pretty sweet isn't it?




Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday-Friday 10am-Noon eastern standard time on wmktthetalkstation.com


Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com available on demand now

03 Desember 2015

Road Trippin'


  


 I had 2 doctors visits in one week.  That is unusual for me lately.  Both were routine follow ups from oncology and radiation oncology.  I didn't have the usual scanxiety that I usually have.  I had a mammogram just a month before and everything was normal, so I naturally assumed that neither doc would find any problems.

I like to drive.  Everywhere.  I drive more than Doug.  When I lived in LA that was part of my job, driving to set, from editorial to one of the post houses, mix stages etc. Most people get totally stressed in rush hour on the 101, the Hollywood Freeway.  I find it relaxing.  Yeah your not moving, but you can clear your mind and focus.

I would always drive to my doctor appointments, chemo, radiation, I think I even drove to surgery.  Most of the time after chemo I wasn't in any shape to drive, the drugs would knock me out (and no I didn't drive after my lumpectomy surgery, but apparently I called several people to tell them I was ok while I was still heavily medicated.  Wonder if that audio is still around.)

Monday I drove to the oncologist.  Driving to the hospital for what I knew would be a routine follow up brought a flood of memories to me.  Why I don't know.  I thought about the routine I would have for the day.  I would get my blood drawn out of my port at about 9am.  Hated that goddamn port. Looked like a fucking bottlecap under my skin, and it would hurt sometimes when I moved a certain way.   Go to work and produce The Vic McCarty Show for 2 hours, drive home.  Put lidocaine on my port and cover it with plastic wrap so it wouldn't rub off.  Lidocaine numbs the area.  I would see the oncologist.  he would go over my blood counts to make sure I was strong enough to do the chemo, then it was a short walk to the infusion center.  There were a couple of times that I forgot to put Lidocaine on my port and when they jabbed the syringe in me for the chemo  it hurt like hell for the entire treatment, which lasted anywhere from 1-3 hours, depending upon the meds.

I thought about how much I had been through.  Sometimes I can't believe it.  Its only been 3 years but it also feels like a lifetime ago.  I thought about how much Doug has been there for me. Every chemo, every radiation.  During chemo I would fall asleep  because of the meds and he would go to the cafeteria to get something to eat for himself.  He would come back with Lays potato chips for me.  They made me feel better when I was done.  I would groggily walk to the exit of the cancer center and Doug would get the car and pull it up so I wouldn't have to walk too far. 

During the drive to the doctor I wondered why I wasn't nervous or scared.  Was it because I was just too busy with work and advocacy?  Maybe I have just gotten to a place where I know I am going to be ok, and as my friend Donald Wilhelm would say "It is what it is." 
No its neither one of those things.  I don't know why the appointments didn't bother me.  I still don't.  It makes no sense.


Cancer still affects me.  Well the side effects do anyway.  The neuropathy that went away now comes and goes.  Like I need a fucking reminder that I had cancer.  It frustrates me that I still have it.  That when sometimes when I am doing pilates I can't feel my toes or part of my foot.  Kind of hard to focus on the poses and breathing when you aren't even sure where your foot it.  I know its where it should be.  I just can't fucking feel it.  Frustrating when the instructor asks you to move a part of your foot and you have no clue if you are or not.

And the damn depression.

Of all the side effects I have had I wish I could trade that one for something else, like you used to to with marbles or baseball cards when you were a kid? 

Hey I'll trade you depression for insomnia or chemobrain.

Shit.  I have both of those too. 

Nevermind..

Mel is the producer/co~host of The Vic McCarty Show. Listen Live Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern time on wmktthetalkstation.com


Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com Available on demand and also available on Itunes


28 November 2015

Save the Tatas

 

I don't recall how I found out about the save the tatas company.  I know they were on The Vic McCarty show when I was going through treatment, and I liked their message. Yes cancer is serious business, being diagnosed and going to doctor visits and chemo and radiation for months at a time can take a toll on anyone.

That is why I like the Save the Tatas mission and message:

Laughter heals.  Of course.  I have blogged about my positive mental attitude and wicked sense of humor.  If I didn't have that I probably wouldn't have gotten through treatment.  Recently we had founder of Save the Tatas Julia Field Fikse on the Vic McCarty show.  She was telling us a story about her wearing the shirt below:


She told us this funny story about walking in Pasadena, CA and a car screeched right by her, and a guy yelled out of his car, I totally was!!!!  What a great story.  What a great message. I love the fact that they bring humor to breast cancer awareness. I am for anything that brings humor and a positive message to an important cause.

Its always surprising, when you are going through treatment, what will bring a smile to your face.  Save the Tatas did that and continues to do that for me now that i am post treatment and into survivorship.

One of my favorite products from Save the Tatas is Boob Lube.  Now I know what you are thinking and you can get your mind right out of the gutter.  It's the original breast check soap. It is a fun reminder for you to do your monthly breast self exams.

There are lots of companies out there that promote breast cancer awareness, but I haven't seen one as fun as Save the Tatas.

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty show. Listen live Monday-Friday eastern standard time on wmktthetalkstation.com.

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com available on demand now



26 November 2015

What are you thankful for?


Thanksgiving. A day off of work for most.  A day to spend with family, watch football and eat, eat eat.

Every family has their own tradition.  Doug and I go out to eat with his Dad and Uncle at the Perry Hotel, they put on a fantastic buffet and it is well known in the area for its food.

As I was eating the turkey and roast beef tonight I couldn't help but think what I am thankful for.  When I was diagnosed two years ago I had to give up alot in order to stay well.  I had to stop working at the serving job I had, not only could I not lift any trays because of the operation I had, the doctors told me I couldn't be there because of my low white blood cell count.  Being around a lot of people who potentially had colds wouldn't be good for my health, white blood cells fight infection, and mine being low I probably would have gotten really sick, like cancer wasn't enough of being sick right?  Luckily, as they say here in Northern Michigan a view of the Bay is half your pay, so like most people I had two jobs.  I was still able to work at the radio station.

There was a lot of food I couldn't eat.  I was advised not to eat fresh veggies during treatment, because they may not be washed properly.  You never really realize what you enjoy until you aren't able to have it.  I thought I really would kill someone for a big salad!!!  Some food I couldn't eat just because it was too hard on me, like anything acidic.  Tell that to someone whose mom makes awesome italian food!!! Tomatoes were off the list for a while.  Funny that I can still talk about food after stuffing my face today at the buffet.

I still worked but I was basically a hermit for a year.  For someone like me, not really a social butterfly, but I like being out with people, going out, hanging with friends.  It was work, doctor visits, home,sleep, eat, sleep, repeat.  Thank goodness that is over with.

I recently got the all clear from my oncologist.  Blood tests look good, mammography was normal.  See you in six months he said.  Got the same news from the radiologist, I don't need to see him until next year.  Hoping for a hat trick when I see my surgeon on Tuesday.

I am thankful for a lot of things, friends, family, all the people who have helped me through this, whether you realized it or not, thank you.
 






21 November 2015

Under Armour ~ You know you want it



 Under Armour.  You know the name.

I have been wearing Under Armour when I started playing hockey in the late 90's.

Wore it before it was popular.

Before the endorsements.

Under Armour.

I wrote about my Under Armour hat in a recent post.

I was fortunate to catch the eye of the good people at Under Armour.  They sent me a hoody to check out.

Now living in Michigan the climate can change here in the blink of an eye.  So I am very particular about what I wear.

I decided to wear it to the rink.  I got it the same day I had a game.

Soft and comfortable is the best way I can describe the inside of the hoody.  It was  like putting on a article of clothing I had worn for years.  That is how comfortable the Storm full zip hoody is.


The Rink can get cold, duh, its supposed to, but the hoody kept me warm. It is great for fall weather here in Michigan, where it can go from sunny and warm to rainy and windy.  Perfect for a bike ride, zipped or unzipped.

I got the black hoody.  Love the shadowy depth of the black.

My team mates were jealous.  I could tell.

So now its your turn.

I told you how awesome the storm hoody is for women.  Now its time to get an Under Armour hoodie for you (or your man) just in time for the holidays.

Why wrestle someone in stores over the best Christmas or birthday present you can give, when you can get it for free?

Just post a comment here telling me who gets an awesome hoody and why.  I will pick a winner at random and the good folks at Under Armour will work hard to get it under your tree in time for Christmas.

The best part?  You don't even have to tell the person you got the hoody for it was for free.  Let them think you spent a long day looking for the perfect gift, when all you really had to click out a couple of words.

Under Armour.

You know you want it.



Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com
Also available on Itunes and on the podcasts app on the iphone

18 November 2015

Flip the switch


I had an appointment with the doctor the other day.  My general practioner.  Regular checkup.  My doc always asks about my meds, my moods.  Told her sometimes I feel down. Yeah I get depressed.

Sometimes I can snap out of it pretty easily, sometimes I can't.

This was one of those times I couldn't.

I wish I could figure out what brings my mood down.

Some days it seems like it comes out of nowhere, and suddenly I am deeply entrenched in emotions that make no sense to me, but sometimes they do.

It can come in waves, like one moment I am fine the next I am not.

Its worse when your alone, or at night, when there is nothing but your own thoughts surrounding you.

I guess its no wonder that it is hard for me to fall asleep because when I feel this way all I do is think about the things that bother me, or what is upsetting me.

The thing that really gets to me is how I can be fine, then just feel totally steeped in it.

Its inexplicable really, unless you have been there, and if you are reading this I hope you never have been.

I recall one of the times that I felt the worst was right before the carcinista had passed.  That was end of April early May of this year.  I was at a friends house apologizing for the way I had acted, another wonderful thing about this mental condition of mine, I have a tendency to lash out at people that I care about, do and say shit that is totally out of character for me.  I don't recall exactly what the conversation was about but I know I was in a dark place and I felt utterly lost.

Its not something you can just snap out of.

So I try to make sense of it all. Figure out what gets me down.

Ultimately I have no idea.

Right now I am feeling pretty fucking good, and man I love this feeling,

The feeling I had before cancer, before Sept 18, 2007.

Then I wonder when my brain chemistry is going to go askew and flip that switch.

Lyrics from Pink's song Perfect:

You're so mean, 
When you talk, about yourself,
 you were wrong, 
Change the voices in your head
make them like you instead  


If only it was as easy as the song makes it out to be.

I will continue on the fight against my own mind, when the depression hits, when the switch is flipped, I gotta find the right trigger to put it back.

Until then I will continue to advocate, blog about it,try to destigmatize it.

That's the only thing I can do.


Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com.  Available on demand and also available on Itunes.



14 November 2015

Nothing to fear?



I have been thinking about this post for a while.  Something that all survivors think about, but don't want to talk about. Fear of recurrence.  I don't know ANY friends of mine that are survivors who don't think about this at least at least once. Mostly during times close to doctors appointments.  Yeah that's right I have an oncology appointment in about a week.  Although I don't expect anything bad, there is always that thought, what if?  What if it comes back?  What if the meds I took to get rid of my breast cancer caused some other cancer, yes, that's right, side effects of some of the chemo drugs are other cancers.  I can almost picture one of those happy commercials for Adrymicin/Cytoxan, (the chemo drug that made my pee turn red and made my hair fall out) with the family out for a picnic talking about A/C and happily discussing the potential liver disease and bladder cancer you could get as one of the possible side effects.

Whenever my docs explained the side effects and listed them off, I remember I said no thanks I don't want any of those, as if I had a choice of side effects, no thanks to the seizures, but I will take the chills, fever and hallucinations.

 Fear of recurrence.  It is real.  It is a side effect that I believe every cancer survivor gets, funny how its not on any list that I have seen.  It doesn't happen often, mostly near doctors appointments, especially if I get a scan or a blood test, or near the anniversary of when I was diagnosed, when I had my surgery or some similar cancer related event.    Even unrelated tests can make you nervous.  I remember when my docs office called with the results of my pap test I held my breath a little until the nurse said normal.

As another oncology appointment approaches the thought is in the back of my mind. The odds are in my favor for being cancer free, but there is always that what if?

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty show. Listen live Monday-Friday eastern standard time on wmktthetalkstation.com.

Check out my show The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com

13 November 2015

In Response to NY Times article "Think About Pink"

So the creator of project boobies emailed me a link to a NY Times article recently.  About this survivor who was complaining about the pink ribbon on everything.  To that I can relate.  Everything seemed to have a pink ribbon on it.  I get that, in October the ribbon was everywhere.  That is the only part of the article I can agree upon.
Paraphrasing, she said that the pink ribbon was on everything and it promoted "awareness."

Then she said this,
"The experience of actual women with cancer, women like Rollin, Black, Ford and Rockefeller — women like me — got lost."

Uh what?

So I put on a Save the Tatas shirt or a Project boobies that takes away from your experience with cancer?

She says "Sassy retail campaigns have sprung up everywhere, purporting to “support the cause.”
Ok so as a writer shouldn't you check facts?

In the photo for the blog I am PROUDLY wearing a projectboobies shirt for a tv interview, one that she was complaining about in the article to be sassy and purporting to "support the cause."

Sorry Ms. Orenstein, it does support the cause.

Have you heard of Kokolulu?  A free retreat for cancer survivors in Hawaii.  A portion of project boobies proceeds goes to fund the retreat.  THE FREE RETREAT.

As for Save The TaTas, a company I am familiar with, a company who, whenever I ask for t shirts for a fundraiser or a group the owner Julie Fikse donates to me without question, has according to their website donated $535,000 towards ending breast cancer.

Sorry that diminishes your battle.

 Sorry that Kris Carr, survivor and author of Crazy Sexy Cancer bothers you with her positive message.

Does it diminish the battle of the 52 year old survivor who asked my friend for a save the tatas shirt, knowing that she got it from me?  Does it diminish the fact that the doctors didn't give her much time to live. 

I say No.

Most of the breast cancer survivors I know are in their 20's and 30's so I would instead of wearing as you would want me to a “I ❤ My 72-Year-Old One-Boobied Granny t shirt instead of the tatas or projectboobies shirt I would wear my  I ❤ My 27 yr old friend who is a college student and a young adult breast cancer survivor

Because I do.

And a pink ribbon on toilet paper doesn't diminish the battle or the stories of my friends Lani, Angella or Ann, who are survivors, bloggers, and advocates (and Ann at this time is facing a recurrance)


Seeing a pink ribbon everywhere doesn't diminish my battle. It only fuels my fire to advocate for ALL CANCERS  even more.   I maintained a positive outlook while battling cancer and depression at the same time.  I guess I just prefer to live my life positively, even while staring in the face of my own mortality.

No survivor I have ever heard say cancer is fun.

We all know it sucks.

Wrap that up in a pink ribbon. 

Mel is the producer of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com. Available on demand and also available on Itunes.

11 November 2015

The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com




I have a tale to tell
Sometimes it gets so hard to hide it well

Lyrics from a Madonna song "Live to Tell" one of my favorite songs of hers.  Very appropriate I think as a cancer survivor.  It took a long time for me to tell my story.  Vic and I talked about telling my story on The Vic McCarty show, and I wanted to but I was afraid to, it was hard to open up after every thing I have been going through.  I wasn't used to talk about myself to anyone, let alone talk about a disease that scares the hell out of everyone.  Now  its hard to get me not to talk about it.

I have often written about how lucky I am.  I believe everyone can be in the right place at the right time.  Somehow I was in the right place at the right time and I am doing a podcast on Empoweradio.com.  I have only done three so far and I have learned alot from the people I have interviewed.

Everyone's cancer experience is different, meds treat people differently, side effects, psychological and physical effects.   Not everyone is comfortable sharing their story.  That is fine, I can understand that, there are still some aspects of my cancer experience that is too personal to share.

That is the great thing about my new show. I can find people to tell their tale, share their experience and help other survivors and cancer fighters who are going through similar situations. I have learned about perserverance, strength and courage from all of the guests I have had on the show.

 Their stories have helped me and I hope that they will help you as well.

Every survivor has a story.
What's yours?

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty show Monday-Friday 10am-Noon eastern on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com available on demand now.

06 November 2015

A Positive Ripple Effect



A while ago I was asked to write an article for a magazine.  I can't even recall how long ago that was, I blame chemo brain for that.  Some things I just can't retain.  I try to get used to it but it is still frustrating as hell...

Its not like I submit things all the time.  I don't.  Most of the time I just write on my blog or submit to a few things here or there.  So when I got the email from Brent from Empoweradio.com.  I was like "oh yeah, sweet!!"

Imagine my surprise when I opened up the email link for the magazine and I saw my name on the cover. 

Wow. 

I am grateful to Kim and Cheryl the creators of the magazine to be included in the premiere issue.

I am honored and humbled to be on the cover.

I am glad there is a magazine that is spreading positive messages out there.


Check out A Positive Ripple Effect.  My article is on page 34. Please check out the entire magazine, and share it with your friends.

Mel is the producer/co~host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday-Friday 10am-noon eastern on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com available on demand now and also available on Itunes.

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