Goodbye Old Friend....

Peripheral neuropathy.

Defined by dictionary.com as Function: noun : a disease or degenerative state (as polyneuropathy) of the peripheral nerves in which motor, sensory, or vasomotornerve fibers may be affected and which is marked by muscle weakness and atrophy, pain, and numbness

You know what it feels like when your foot falls asleep?  Well imagine that intensified. Lucky me my friendship with neuropathy began after chemo ended.  I know I have written about it before, but really? After I am done with the toxic chemicals being injected into me I get a side effect.  Great. Thanks for that. A little bonus I wasn't expecting.

I started chemo on November 12th 2007 and finished up with (herceptin) treatment on December 29, 2008. I finished my chemo some time in April of 2008, I have the exact date in an old cell phone of mine,( have to get those milestone dates out of that phone before it gets tossed) My neuropathy started soon after that.

April 2008, and it just ended.  Or at least I hope.  I haven't had it in a couple of weeks.  So I guess it is gone.

December 2009~so that means my neuropathy, that tingling annoying pain sock, which was so painful at first that it was almost too much to bear, that tingling I got used to having, when I went to bed at night it would, if I was on my feet for a long period of time, would crawl up my leg up to my knee like spider creeping up its web, that after a while it was more of a nuisance that anything else, lasted longer than my treatment.  Longer than all of my treatments combined, including surgery, chemo, herceptin, and radiation. 

My treatment lasted 14 months.  My neuropathy lasted 20.

I almost don't want to post this blog, as if posting it will make it come back.

Ha ha but I am posting it anyway {gulp}

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern standard time.  Listen live on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com

Reflections

There are 5 days left of 2010.  I have to say it has been a long emotional year for me. Lots of good things have happened for me professionally.  This has been a great year pr wise for The Cancer Warrior.

I was one of a few featured survivors in a Chicago Tribune/LA Times article about cancer survivors (Thats me before Peggy Fleming and the president of Harvard with my photo above the fold, doesn't show it only though)

A Positive Ripple Effect magazine featured an article I had written.

I was featured on several radio shows, including The Stupid Cancer Show.  Matt Zachary who founded Stupid Cancer is not only a good friend but someone I admire.  I was blogging on my own blog and was also blogging on The Stupid Cancer Blog.  I am grateful to him for helping me get my start.

One of the most amazing things that has happened to me this year is being asked to speak at The Cancer Treatment Centers of America Empowerment Rally.  Out of all the cancer survivors I was picked with 4 other survivors from the US to talk about patient empowerment. I can remember the night before thinking that there will be a knock on the door and someone from CTCA would say uh sorry we made a mistake, here is a ticket for your flight home. 

I have met some amazing survivors in person and online.  I have an amazing group of people who have had all kinds of different cancers, all who share the same experience, and who all want the same thing, the end of cancer.  I know I can email, call, tweet, or facebook any of my friends at any time if I need guidance or help for myself or someone else. 

I have started new ventures in social media, helping others maintain their facebook pages.  Sounds easy, I know.  Someone asked me people actually pay you for that?  The answer is yes, they do.  Businesses and people get busy with their lives and need people to help them.  That is what I do.

One of the things I like to do is pay it forward, either to my friends by some simple gesture, but mostly to people I haven't met.  Its an easy thing to do, and it takes minimal effort.  Someone paid it forward to me this year.  They created my amazing new website  When my friend said he would do my website pro bono I never expected the extent of how much he has done.  I was blown away.  Honestly when I first saw it I almost started to cry.  I was just expecting nothing more than the go daddy parked site I had. 

Celebrated 3 years of survivorship.  Nothing is better than hearing all clear on blood tests, scans and physicals.  Nothing.

With all the amazing highs there were many lows as well.


September 15th. 

Just 3 days before I was to celebrate my 3 year cancerversary I lost a good friend to cancer.
 
Donald Wilhelm

He was such an inspiration to many, and I am grateful I got to meet him and call him my friend.  Even now as I am writing this the tears are flowing.  Knowing that just 4 months before he passed I posted an interview of him here.

And I saw him just 3 months before he passed away at the Pancake House with his wife Amy.  I am grateful I got to meet her and that Doug got to meet him. 

The photo below taken on Memorial Day weekend will always be one of my favorites.

Seemed like after Don passed away everything just sent me into a tailspin of depression.  Even with the pink ribbon program that I started at Pilates Midwest and the Pilates helping me to relax the cancer world that I was in was rocked one week with Don's memorial service, a friends recurrance and not one but two deaths because of cancer.

I have to say the last three months of this year have been some of the hardest I have ever dealt with.  Dealing with those passings, financial hardships, and just life in general got to me.

It was rough.

Almost as rough as when I was going through treatment. 

I can honestly say without prescription medications, family, and good friends being there for me I don't think I would have made it through these past 3 months as much as I did, and for you I am eternally grateful.

5 days until the ball drops and its 2011.

I have faith that 2011 will be better than 2010.
 
Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe. ~ Voltaire


Mel is the producer/co~host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com  Available on demand now and also available on Itunes

Interview on BBC radio program World Have Your Say

BBC World Have Your Say Interview with The Cancer Warrior Dec 16,2011 from Cancer Warrior on Vimeo.

I was honored and humbled to be requested by the BBC to speak about "The Topic of Cancer"  Here is my segment on the program.

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com.  Available on demand and also available on Itunes.

Under Armour ~ You know you want it

 Under Armour.  You know the name.

I have been wearing Under Armour when I started playing hockey in the late 90's.

Wore it before it was popular.

Before the endorsements.

Under Armour.

I wrote about my Under Armour hat in a recent post.

I was fortunate to catch the eye of the good people at Under Armour.  They sent me a hoody to check out.

Now living in Michigan the climate can change here in the blink of an eye.  So I am very particular about what I wear.

I decided to wear it to the rink.  I got it the same day I had a game.

Soft and comfortable is the best way I can describe the inside of the hoody.  It was  like putting on a article of clothing I had worn for years.  That is how comfortable the Storm full zip hoody is.


The Rink can get cold, duh, its supposed to, but the hoody kept me warm. It is great for fall weather here in Michigan, where it can go from sunny and warm to rainy and windy.  Perfect for a bike ride, zipped or unzipped.

I got the black hoody.  Love the shadowy depth of the black.

My team mates were jealous.  I could tell.

So now its your turn.

I told you how awesome the storm hoody is for women.  Now its time to get an Under Armour hoodie for you (or your man) just in time for the holidays.

Why wrestle someone in stores over the best Christmas or birthday present you can give, when you can get it for free?

Just post a comment here telling me who gets an awesome hoody and why.  I will pick a winner at random and the good folks at Under Armour will work hard to get it under your tree in time for Christmas.

The best part?  You don't even have to tell the person you got the hoody for it was for free.  Let them think you spent a long day looking for the perfect gift, when all you really had to click out a couple of words.

Under Armour.

You know you want it.



Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com

Also available on Itunes and on the podcasts app on the iphone

Exercise and the Cancer Patient – All You Need to Know

Another Guest Blogger Enjoy

It’s a horrible disease, one that makes you suffer even if lets you live. No one can claim to know what a cancer patient goes through unless they’ve had some form of this dreaded disease as well. The shock of the initial diagnosis, the pain of the chemotherapy and radiation therapy, the loss of dignity and control over your life, the fear of suffering and eventual death – the list of agonies goes on and on when it comes to cancer. Even survivors are battle-scarred – they’ve lost so much of their life and sometimes even lose the will to fight the disease even though they’re over the worst of it, simply because they feel too exhausted mentally and physically.


However, exercise helps make a significant difference in the lives of cancer patients; whether they’re part of the rehab procedure or a regular part of the survivor’s life, workout routines provide them with:

• An increase in strength: When you’ve been ill for a while, your muscles atrophy and your limbs and joints become stiff and clumsy. You find that you stumble when you walk and that even the most simple chores and activities are now strenuous exercises. When you exercise so that your muscles and joints become stronger and more nimble, you feel yourself returning to normal and feeling fine.

• A boost in confidence: Exercise boosts both physical and mental wellbeing; just the fact that you’re able to move your limbs and go through the workout routine your therapist had designed for you is a boost to your confidence because it proves that you’re fighting the disease with all you’ve got and not letting it get you down. When you’re mentally prepared to do all it takes to fight cancer, it makes a huge difference in your ability to recover.

• Lower complications: When you exercise, you reduce the side effects and complications caused by your illness. You don’t suffer from blood clots and bedsores because of being holed up in bed for too long, and your overall health improves even as you battle cancer.

• Overall improvement in health: Exercise helps you sleep better and sometimes even removes the need for pain medication. Your appetite improves and you’re able to eat nutritious food that boosts your heath. And you start to look and feel better as your energy levels go up and you feel stronger than before.

Your physiotherapist will probably give you a range of exercises to go through every day; based on the nature of your illness, it could be passive or intense. Some routines target your ROM (range of movement) – for example, if you’ve had breast cancer and had your lymph nodes removed as part of the surgery, your arms and shoulders are going to feel stiff and heavy. Your therapist will teach you the right exercises so that you’re able to use your arms again without feeling any pain.

Exercise has also proved beneficial in reducing your risk of a relapse – breast and colorectal cancer research has shown that survivors who exercise are less likely to be affected by the disease again. So if you’re affected by cancer and on your way to recovery, don’t forget to include exercise in your arsenal of weaponry when fighting the disease.



This guest post is contributed by Paul Hench, he writes on the topic of  masters in public health. He welcomes your comments at his email id: paul.23hench@gmail.com.

Preventing a Recurrence of Cancer

Another guest blogger.  Enjoy

According to the National Cancer Institute, there are over 12 million cancer survivors in the US today.  And that number is expected to grow, as the population ages, treatments improve, and tests find the disease earlier.  

Cancer survivors face a myriad of health challenges, not to mention the daunting fear the cancer will return.  However, once a patient is deemed "in remission," they are typically disconnected from care -- as well as any attending support -- and told to come back in three to six months where diagnostic scans or blood tests will determine if the cancer has returned.

We suggest a far more pro-active, empowered approach: a remission maintenance plan that offers cancer survivors a personalized program to regain control of their health, restore vitality and protect against the cancer returning. At the Block Center, once a patient has completed their treatment, we personally tailor a comprehensive Remission Maintenance program for them that includes: therapeutic nutrition, exercise, mind-spirit care, and anti-tumor therapies.

Understandably, after hearing that they are "in remission," patients may want to retreat psychologically to a "cancer- free" zone and never think about the disease again.  But this is why they shouldn't:  Cancer is as much a microscopic and molecular disease as it is a visible one. Thus, a patient in remission may still harbor malignant cells (ones that were resistant to chemotherapy or radiation, and therefore survived the attack phase). These cells unfortunately have the ability to show up with a vengeance, even when one least suspects. Not placing far greater emphasis on containing and addressing these cells from the get-go is a significant omission of mainstream treatment. But while preemptive treatment strategies may only exist in integrative clinics, when it comes to the diagnostic side, a new technology has begun demonstrating the relevance of these virulent escape cells.

Enter CTCs (circulating tumor cells)! Over a decade ago, the Block Center was one of a few that were performing bone marrow biopsies to evaluate for malignant cells in both the marrow and in circulation. It took several years, but eventually this evolving diagnostic technology made it into conventional care. While easier to perform today and more reliable as well, we continue to use this in our clinic. This technology allows us and others the ability to measure in our patients the number of these detached cells circulating freely from the main cancer mass.  Though not yet approved for all cancer, research studies have shown that an increase of these cells is prognostic of a patient's survival.

For instance, a CTC count may be a better prognostic indicator for survival among prostate cancer patients than a PSA level -- the test used presently to determine and follow the course of prostate cancer growth.

By comparing the levels of CTC in 37 men with metastatic prostate cancer, researchers at Thomas Jefferson University found that for the men with 5 CTCs or more, the median overall survival was only 8.4 months. Whereas, if these men were found to have less than 5 CTCs, the median survival was 48 months! 

The relevance of CTCs is also relevant to other cancers. For instance, CTCs were measured in 151 women with metastatic breast cancer. The MD Anderson Cancer Center's researchers found that those patients with 5 or more CTCs had a median survival of only 13 months, whereas those with less 5 survived over 29 months!

Controlling, preventing or overcoming these detached and disseminating cells is possibly the biggest conundrum facing cancer scientists. While these cells are generally addressed during treatment, the first steps of recurrence prevention should start with strategies to counter the survival of these residual cells and inhibiting their potential proliferation. In fact, CTCs that have gone through the onslaught of treatment and have nonetheless survived have the potential to evolve into more aggressive clones encouraging a more virulent malignancy. So what to do?

Aggressive Monitoring

We recommend regular monitoring of patients' status with lab tests and imaging to detect early signs of disrupted biochemistry or a recurrence of disease, especially in the year or two after remission.

Being "diagnostically aggressive" may allow us to be less invasive therapeutically. In the first years after remission, therefore, we recommend:

• Clinical visits with your oncologist, at least every three to four months in the first and second year and every six months for the next several years
• Scans and blood tests of tumor markers every three months.
• Complete blood count and chemistry test every three months.
• Nutrition status, including weight changes, body composition, and albumin levels, every three months.
• Internal terrain monitoring, every three to six months for the terrain factors that are most problematic.

While monitoring, there is no reason to wait anxiously for the other shoe to drop.  So immediately implement a full integrative program.

• Make sound dietary changes toward adherence of a whole foods diet.  Reduction in dietary fat has already been shown to cut recurrences in different cancers. Controlling refined flour, sugar and junk food is a necessary step to avoid the recurrence risk of elevated blood glucose and spiking insulin levels.
• Introduce aerobics, strength and flexibility training into your daily schedule. Yoga, pilates, chi gong or any number of fitness approaches is an essential step towards recurrence prevention. Considerable research supports that risk, response, recurrence and outcomes are tied to physical care.
• Mitigate stress through progressive relaxation, meditation, or simply easing the load on an excessive work schedule. Elevated cortisol levels are associated with poorer outcomes in breast cancer patients. So do what it takes to transform less healthy patterns.
• Get rest and adequate sleep. The more active you are in the daytime, the better you'll sleep at night. Few of us get enough sleep and the adverse consequences to an otherwise health promoting, cancer inhibitory environment can be devastating.

© 2010 Keith I. Block, M.D., author of Life Over Cancer: The Block Center Program for Integrative Cancer Treatment
Author Bio
Keith I. Block, M.D. is Director of Integrative Medical Education at the University of Illinois College of Medicine; Medical Director of the Block Center for Integrative Cancer Treatment in Evanston, Illinois; and founder and Scientific Director of the nonprofit Institute for Integrative Cancer Research and Education. He is also editor in chief of the peer-reviewed professional journal Integrative Cancer Therapies and a member of the National Cancer Institute's Physician Data Query Complementary and Alternative Medicine (CAM) Editorial Board.

For more information, please visit www.lifeovercancer.com and www.blockmd.com. Become a fan of Life Over Cancer and the Block Center for Integrative Cancer Treatment on Facebook.

Done

I wish that is what they would stamp on my cancer chart. DONE. As if you could just stamp something and have it be so like "top secret"  like on NCIS or "case closed," like the CIA does. Sadly that is not the case. I don't think you can ever be done with cancer. Even in remission or not having it for many years, there is always that scanxiety, with every blood test, or scan, or even phone call.

September 18th will be my 3 year cancerversary.  Still can't believe it has been 3 years.

Certain things I remember like they were yesterday.  Other stuff is just a giant chemoblur.  I remember when I was told, obviously, when the surgeon told me my options, when the oncologist said ok we can start chemo next week, I thought, what, already holy shit, give me more than 7 days after I get my port in to process this craziness.

My friends told me that it would be over before I knew it.  I didn't believe them at the time.

This is going to take forever I thought HOW MANY MONTHS WILL I HAVE THIS GODDAMN PORT IN?  How long will I be going through chemo and herceptin, and I have to reschedule my life around an afternoon radiation appointment?  Really?

My friend was right.  Although it didn't seem like it it did go by fast.  Now I watch other people go through similar situations that I did, chemo, surgery radiation, and I see the anger and frustrations in their posts.  I know how they feel, I felt that way too. 

Its hard to explain to my friends that soon this will be a distant memory, that this wont last forever, but when you are in the moment, surrounded by cancer, time stands still.

I will continue to advocate, continue to speak about patient empowerment, continue to share my story, continue to blog.

Until there is a cure.

Only then will I be Done.

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday-Friday 10am-noon on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com available on demand now and also available on Itunes

Empowerment Rally Wrap up..

WOW.  So I still can't believe that I was asked to be a part of a panel for the Cancer Treatment Centers of America on social media and how to be an empowered patient.  Even when I was there I was almost expecting a knock on the door from someone saying whoops, er, ah,we didn't mean to invite you, we made a mistake...

It was such an amazing experience to be a part of a panel, and humbling to be asked.  I spent the day with four other survivors, Joe Bacal, Lani Horn, Jody Schoeger and Matt Zachary.  This was the first time I had met these survivors in real life, otherwise we have just communicated via the virtual world, texting or by phone.  Matt Zachary I have known the longest.  I started blogging on his stupid cancer blog and owe him a lot because of that.  Meeting everyone and listening to their experiences was just so awesome.

We met the pr group to go over the ins and outs of the rally, toured the hospital, which didn't feel like a hospital, learned about how the hospital was founded, and went on what they called "Hope Rounds" before the rally.

Hope rounds were my favorite.  That is where we walked around the hospital and met other survivors going through treatment, for most CTCA is their last resort, most have already been told you have 6 months to live (so they are stage 3 & 4 survivors), get your affairs in order, or have been misdiagnosed.  Meeting these people and having them share their stories was incredible. Telling them about my story gave them a little more hope, at least that is what I think.  I do hope I made an impact on at least one of the people I shared my story with.


The rally lasted an hour, all 5 of us were asked various questions pertaining to our treatment, doctors, survivorship etc.  It could have lasted all day.  We each have so much to share, so much to teach, so much to learn. 


I posted pictures on facebook of the rally and tweeted  about it.  Several people called me a hero, and said they were proud of what I do.  That makes me a little uncomfortable.


I don't consider myself a hero.  I just do what needs to be done. 


Mel is the producer/co~host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live 10am-noon Monday-Friday on wmktthetalkstation.

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com available on demand now and also available on itunes. 

Bike 4 Breast cancer event

This is why I do what I do

Mel is the host of The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com  Available on Demand and also available on Itunes.
 
Mel is  also the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday-Friday 10am-noon on wmktthetalkstation.com

Resident Evil

Last blogpost was about my friend Sarah aka The Carcinista's decision to stop treatment and live out the rest of her life on her terms.  I recorded a podcast with Sarah on Wednesday April 27.  Podcast went on Empower Radio 2 days later.  On Tuesday May 3rd I had learned that she had passed away.  Now they gave her a month (from what exact day I am not sure that was given, found out about it when I looked at facebook on my iphone, I am finding out more shitty information about my survivor friends that way.)

Of course I cried.  I was totally stunned and blown away.  How could this be?  Less than a week...  

I was beside myself with grief.

I still am.

I actually thought about giving up my advocacy.  I didn't share that with anyone.  It was a thought that went through my head.  Why am I doing this if my friends keep dying?  How can what I do make any kind of difference?

Then I saw a post my my facebook wall from Angella Hamilton.  I had called her after I had found out Sarah had passed and left a tear filled message on her voicemail. 

This is the post Angella had left me:  

"I want to tell you that what you do makes a difference. I know there are days when it gets rough- but your podcast with Sarah, and every cancer Survivor for that matter - makes an impact on people's lives and you should feel good about that."

So with those words in front of me I had several thoughts surrounding me.  I could run and hide and shut myself off from the world which is what I really felt like doing.

Or I could still be sad, pissed off, and stay in the fight.

I guess you figured out which one I chose.


Mel is the producer/co~host of The Vic McCarty Show. Listen Live Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern time on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com Available on demand and also available on Itunes.

PUSH

Last week I went out with a couple of friends of mine for a day trip.  We went just a couple hours away to just have lunch, go shopping, girls day out. 

I have new hours at work.  I start work at 5:45am and work until noon, sometimes later on during the day.  I should go to bed early, but being a night owl is hard to give up.  I just can't get my ass in bed before 11pm on most nights.

So back to the trip.  It was a great day with friends. Started out about 10am and we got back home around 5 or 6pm.  Great food, a lot of laughs and some shopping thrown in there.

I didn't realize how much the trip to a town just an hour and a half away would wipe me out.  I didn't drive.  I have to ride up front, if I sit in the back seat I get car sick.  Always asking to sit in the front seat is a little embarrassing for me, but it beats the alternative.   Chemo made tolerance for that worse.

When I got home I had that fatigued feeling.  The same feeling I got when I was going through chemo, that tired worn out feeling.

Now being a 3 year survivor I would have thought that feeling like that would be gone.  But no, it isn't.

Being a cancer survivor is hard sometimes.  You do things you did before you had cancer, expecting it to be what it was like before, sometimes it is, sometimes it is not. 

This time it was not.  The fatigue I felt felt exactly like chemo fatigue.  Feelings like that can bring you right back to a particular moment.

Remembering how shitty you felt, or looked.

Even after playing hockey this season, even after the two times a week pilates session I did in addition to the hockey.

I still have times when I feel like that.

I hate that.

I have to remember that it still takes time to heal from cancer, even after three years.

I have to remember that I still have to push myself sometimes to get back to where I was before.

Or push myself past that, to be better than I was.

That is the place I want to be.

Mel is the producer/co~host of The Vic McCarty Show. Listen Live Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern time on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com Available on demand and also available on Itunes.

THE SCAR

I never really had a scar until I had my lumpectomy. Before that I only had one tiny scar on my knee.  Got that from our dog Tiger, a german shepard mix, who decided, when I was in junior high or high school, to chase something and he dragged me down the the ground.  Barely noticeable to me.

Now including I have 3 scars, one on my knee, one from my lumpectomy and a scar from the infusion port.

It took me a while to get used to seeing the big lumpectomy scar.  I am glad my breast was able to be saved, and I can never wear a shirt and show off my cleavage (well I guess I could but that scar would turn heads more than my cleavage ever would.)

When I first got home from surgery I remember looking at my scar, hating it, glad that the cancer was gone, but hating the fact that I had a constant reminder of surgery, of cancer, of the fact that life was going to be different from here on out.  It took me a long time to get used to that scar. 

I had everything happen to me pretty quickly, diagnosis to surgery to chemo was less than two months, Sept 18th-diagnosis, Oct 9-Surgery, November 12 chemo.  Somewhere between lumpectomy surgery and chemo I had surgery for to put the port in.  I was glad that I had that put in because chemo chews up your veins, but I hated seeing that fucking thing every day.  It looked like a little bottlecap underneath my skin. I couldn't anything that I really loved to do (hockey, skiing etc) because you could get seriously injured if you hit that thing.  Even when I was exercising I would move a certain way and that would hurt. I totally recommend getting a port, but I was so fucking grateful when it was removed.

My surgeon wanted to know if I wanted to keep it. Some people do as a reminder. No way. Thanks for the memories doc, but throw that god damn thing away. I have enough memories of all the shit I went through.

My lumpectomy scar is perfect for that.

Some of where the cancer was cut out is numb and will never get feeling back.  Some of the feeling has come back.  That is normal, my surgeon says.  Like I said, glad I got to keep my breast.  I remember thinking waayy back when I first met my surgeon he asked if I wanted a full mastectomy on my right breast.

Holy shit,I thought,  it was difficult enough to think about, that I have cancer, that I have to have surgery, wondering how the fuck am I going to pay for all this, now you are asking me if I want you to lop off a part of my body.  Hell no.  (Although I am pretty sure at the time I didn't say that but in the back of my mind that is what I was thinking)

I remember thinking after seeing that scar, that Doug would never think that I would ever be attractive again.  Obviously that is and never was the case, but in my mind, during chemo, that god damn napalm they give you, caused my hair loss and my weight loss (when I thought I looked like a space alien) the times when I couldn't eat, when I was so fucking fatigued from cancer and then I couldn't sleep, when I forgot about those things for a moment, there would always be that scar.

Having that scar took a long time for me to get used to. 

I know some people equate their scars to a badge of honor.

I don't. 

The scar is now just a part of me.


Mel is the producer/co~host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern time on wmktthetalkstation.com 

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com available on demand and also available on itunes.

MELATHON

Another guest blogger.  Enjoy

Mel was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma breast cancer on 9/18/07. Because of her employment, she was and is still not eligible for full health care coverage. Mel was only able to get some very basic coverage at her own expense. The result, she owes the hospital and doctors over $20,000. She has only been able to make small payments against this large debt. Now, the wolves are at her door, calling, process serving letters etc, wanting it all now. The only way she will be able to do this now, is to declare bankruptcy!


We were working in the radio station this past Friday. She told me a process server came by this week with papers, she started to cry. She said, "My docs, they will not get a penny if I go bankrupt, my doctors have become my friends, they saved my life, how can I do that to them?"



Mel has turned her life over to helping people cope with cancer issues. Those of us friends and co-workers who know Mel, know that she is a tireless advocate for cancer awareness and never complains about her personal situation. She is always fun and upbeat and likes to bring joy into peoples lives, because she has her life back. As one of her friends, it is my hope, that all of us together can chip in to help her out now. It is impossible for her to raise this kind of money in a short time.



We were thinking about doing a local fundraiser for her in the Spring, but now there is no more time.


As one of her friends, I'm begging you to forgo those pizzas this month....or that elegant dinner for two you were planning, No gift is too big or to small. Please help our friend Mel Majoros, who has helped so many. Please be as generous as you can. $20,000 plus is a lot of money to one person, but not to the hundreds of us who care about Mel. We can do it!



Please send your gift to: Mel Majoros

Po Box 148

Petoskey, MI 49770



Please make sure that your check is made payable to: "Mel Majoros"



Do not include the words cancer appeal or fund in the payable line. However, you can put that in your memo section if you wish.



Also, if it is easier for you to Paypal your gift,

you can send it to: thecancerwarrior@gmail.com, or click on the paypal link at the top of this blog




Feel free to repost this on your personal Facebook page or blog with your own personal appeal.





Brian E. Brachel is the Chief Engineer for MacDonald Garber Broadcasting and the General Manager of Baraga Broadcasting, Catholic Radio for Northern Michigan.  You can contact him at
Brian.Brachel@106khq.com


Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen Live 10am-noon Monday-Friday eastern time on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com.  Available on demand now and also available on itunes.

Getting back on track

As a cancer survivor I am used to the waiting game.  Waiting for doc appointments, waiting for results from scans.  Waiting, waiting, waiting.  I wonder how much of my cancer experience I have spent waiting.  Probably over half of it.

I am used to waiting for other people, but not for myself.

I am used to going all out all the time.  When I had two jobs I would start my day at 5am as a server finish up  around noon or 2pm, get to the radio station, do some voice tracking, go to the gym, then maybe head back to the radio station to work on a Tigers or a Red Wings game. A 5am-10pm day.  I would do this about 2 or 3 times a week.

I am 3 years into my survivorship, and I am still waiting to be able to get back to that level of energy.  Don't get me wrong, I do have energy.  I still get up early, my work day ends around noon -2pm.  I do pilates twice a week, its winter so I play hockey, but I am still not back to what I was before.  I have to nap during the day to be able to do what I need to do.


Its hard waiting for me.  Its harder not knowing if I will ever get back to where I was before.


I am close.


But not quite there.


This is one of the things they don't tell you about when you have cancer.


This is just one of the many charming aspects of survivorship that I have to deal with on a daily basis.  Just one of the many thoughts that go through my head wondering when I will be back to me, or as close to it as I possibly can be with everything that I have been through.

There are some friends of mine that I haven't seen since I moved from California.  Since I was diagnosed.  Since I had cancer.

Sometimes I wonder how much I have changed and if they will even recognize me.  The Me that they knew.

Its a scary thought to think that they wont.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said "All things come round to him who will but wait."

I hope he was right. 


Mel is the producer/co~host of The Vic McCarty Show. Listen Live Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern time on wmktthetalkstation.com


Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com Available on demand and also available on Itunes.

Mind over Matter

I had that exam (that I blogged about in my previous blog) today, and another ultrasound.  Still looked like the moon, but at least this time the doctor explained what I was looking at.  These aren't the kind of exams that you look forward to, well then again what exams are?  I haven't heard of anyone I know looking forward to a pap test or any other kind of similar test.  The doctor put me at ease right away.  He said he hoped that I spoke to him after this procedure. Apparently I have a uterine polyp.  The doctor asked what I should name it. Trying to make me laugh.  That is a good one, usually I am the one who is the class clown. I named it Fred.  Don't ask me why.

Then came the biopsy.  Now the whole exam, biopsy and part where they keep you there so you don't pass out lasted about an hour. Now I am not going to tell you what the procedure entailed, but I can tell you this: When you are actually having a procedure done time stands still.  I know it didn't take that long because I brought my ipod.  Something to focus on while they are doing whatever they need to do and getting whatever they need to get.  It only took about 3 songs for the biopsy to be done. It was pretty painful.  At one point I recall making a fist and really wanting to punch someone. When the doc was over I asked him if he was going to insert any other major appliances in there.  He and his nurse laughed.

Then they make you lie down so you don't have a vasovagal episode.  Medical term for passing out. So I laid there. Got thirsty asked for water.  Got water. Lights were bright.  Nurse turned the lights off.  Ok.  after a little while I decided I wanted to go.  Got up started to get dressed.  I am not sure if the room spun or if I did but I decided it was a good idea to lay back down.  Nurse comes back in.  Told her I got dizzy.  Raised the seat up so I would be sitting, she thought that was a good idea, that would make it so I would be less dizzy.  Sat there for a while.  Now during all this time my radio show was going on and I was missing it.  I do have a puritan work ethic, I don't like missing work, but obviously this was an important reason to miss it.

So there I sat.  Waiting for my dizziness to subside.  I looked at my watch and it said 11:15.

I actually thought to myself. "This is bullshit.  I am a cancer survivor and a hockey player.  I need to suck it up and go." 

I finished getting dressed.  Opened the door.  The doctor and I exchanged pleasantries, he said I looked good standing up.  Funny guy.

He said not to be too concerned about the polyp.  He didn't think it was cancer.  Ha, I have heard that one before.

I don't feel as nervous as I did before I had the test.  I am cautiously optimistic that Fred is benign.

Results will be in in a few days.

Again I wait.

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty show. Listen live Monday-Friday 10am-Noon eastern time on wmktthetalkstation.com.

Check out my podcast available on demand now on Empoweradio.com and on itunes.

The Return

Most people don't understand why I play hockey.  It is mostly a guys sport. When I tell people I play they just give me "that look"  you know the one, oh right YOU play hockey, you must get in a lot of fights on the ice.  I never have, actually I am rather mellow, besides, we all have to work the next morning so..

I got started playing hockey because of a vendor of mine in Los Angeles.  He gave me free tickets to see the Kings play at Staples Center.  I was immediately hooked.  I was looking to get in shape and I figured if I learned how to skate and bought all the equipment I would have no choice but to play.  Hockey is an expensive sport. 

I started playing co-ed hockey in Burbank, CA.  Burbank Bruins.  There were two other girls on the team.While we had fun, our team was in last place.  Did I mention the other two girls just started playing too?  I had so much fun.  I still have the puck from my first goal I scored.  Somehow I ended up on my ass perpendicular to the goal.  I looked over and it just barely crossed the line.  I was stoked.  We lost the game, but I still remember that moment.

Cancer took a lot from me.  Playing hockey today gave me some of that back.

I am tired, I am sore, my muscles ache.  But I haven't felt this good in a long time

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show Monday~Friday 10am-Noon eastern standard time.  Listen live on wmktthetalkstation.com.

Check out my podcast on Empoweradio.com available on demand now

Happy New Year

Recorded this video on New Years Eve. Why I do what I do.